i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
