You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
