Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
