fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
