what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
