to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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