I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
