Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
