Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
