I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
