sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize