Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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