is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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