I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
