if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
