I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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