just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
