i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
