So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
