could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
NoShamevember. You game?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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