Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
