I could have mohawked her pubes.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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