Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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