i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
