How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
