you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
