her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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