My hand turned me down
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
