i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
