I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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