K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
