She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
