Im at strip club and am horny
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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