I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
