Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
