Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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