and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
