Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
