I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
