when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
