you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
