I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
