Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
