end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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