i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
