His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
birth control should be required to get into college
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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