we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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