I could have mohawked her pubes.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
