Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
