i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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