Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
