Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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